Heartbroken
by romansoldier7
Summary: Young Alex was fed up with her new sister ruining everything good in her life. So she pushed Kara away until she left for good. Alex didn't realize just how much she needed her sister, and the guilt has been eating at her for years. But what happens when she discovers that Kara is alive? And that she's been helping Alex since the moment she flew out of the house's upstairs window?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Sorry I haven't updated "Replaced" in a while. I just ran out of inspiration and encountered a huge writer's block. I hope to finish it eventually, but as of now, it is on hiatus until inspiration strikes once more. I'm hoping that writing smaller pieces can help give me ideas on how I want to finish it off. If you have read it and have any ideas or requests, please feel free to suggest it to me. I'm hoping with maybe a little push and a couple of ideas, I can finish it out.**

 **Anyways, this piece will likely be on the shorter side. If you have any prompt suggestions for coming pieces, please PM them to me or leave them in a review. The rest of the chapters in this fic won't be this long, just to let you all know.**

 **Inspired by a review I saw from user _Lennat_.**

 **Hope you guys enjoy :)**

"Alex!" Eliza caught her daughter's arm as she ran up the stairs at full sprint, eyes clouded over in rage.

Kara listened from behind her room door, feeling like everything wrong in the world was her fault. Just a few weeks ago, the Danvers family had received word that Jeremiah had passed away on a DEO mission. Alex did her best to contain her grief, but found herself lashing out at Kara more often than not. Kara was afraid that today might have been the last straw.

 _Earlier in the Day_

"Please, Alex? I really want to watch the movie!"

Alex shook her head in protest. "I'm sorry, Kara. But today I'm going out with my friends. I can't just bring you along, they wouldn't like it. They're not supposed to know that you and I are related, remember?" Alex made a habit of separating her family life from her social life. She had gone out of her way to convince Eliza to give Kara a different last name, just for school purposes. She could be Kara Danvers anywhere she wanted to be, as long as it was not on campus grounds. Nobody at school knew the "new freak kid" was Alex's adopted sister. And she intended to keep it that way.

Alex was at the top of her class, and her athletic abilities were unmatched. She had the perfect boyfriend, and she was the most popular girl in school. She was not willing to let her untarnished reputation take a hit, just because Kara wanted to watch one movie. If her friends ever found out about her relation to Kara, or god forbid her boyfriend found out, Alex's life would be over.

Of course, Kara understood all this. She was totally fine pretending to not know Alex if it made her big sister happy. She knew how Alex was revered in school by every single student, and she understood because she looked up to Alex too. Kara wouldn't put Alex's reputation at risk.

So she nodded.

Alex walked out the front door, not even sparing a glance back at her alien sister who had managed to singlehandedly ruin her life. She took her car and drove out to the theater to meet her friends. Kara watched as Alex left without even a single trace of remorse. Kara knew she had to let Alex go, but she still wanted to watch the movie.

The little alien grabbed her favorite jacket, and flew out the upstairs window, headed towards the theater. She paid for her ticket with the last of her money from the month's allowance, and grabbed a seat as far away from Alex as possible. If they were seen together, she could completely tank Alex's entire social life, and Kara wouldn't risk that for anything.

Alex and her posse walked into the theater to take the back row, but as she climbed up the stairs, she caught a glimpse of a small alien huddled alone in a chair. Her eyes bugged out - half in annoyance, half in surprise - but she tried to hide it before her friends noticed. None of them suspected anything between the two girls, but her friends did see Kara sitting alone.

Alex felt her boyfriend, Connor Williams, tug on her sleeve. He was absolutely picture perfect, and just as perfect on paper. He was the school's starting quarterback, he placed in the top 10 for GPA _and_ SAT scores, and he was involved in half of the school's extracirricular clubs. He and Alex were the resident power couple of Midvale High. The only thing Alex disliked about him was that he didn't know when to hold his tongue.

But, she put that flaw aside. He was great to her, and nice to most of the students at school. Plus, he did wonders for her social status and school reputation. So she overlooked the small jabs he would make at some kids during school hours. She didn't want to say anything and risk him breaking up with her. That would be the first step to social suicide at that school. Defending the "freaks" to her own boyfriend.

Connor and the rest of their group pointed out Kara and started laughing. As they headed to the top row, he _very_ vocally made fun of her with the others cheering him on.

"Look! It's the loser from school. Sitting all alone because she has no friends." He looked around and found all of his friends laughing with him. That invigorated him. "How did she even get in here? They shouldn't allow freaks into public places. And where are her parents? Probably too disappointed to be seen leaving the house with her."

Alex shifted uncomfortably. She couldn't risk causing a scene in front of her whole friend group and her boyfriend, but Kara was sitting there unwilling to defend herself. Of course she had heard all the remarks, the whole theater had. But she refused to fight back because she didn't want to make the situation any harder on Alex. She sank further into her chair and tried to focus on the trailers that were playing, but Alex's friends were having too much fun.

Abigail Matthews, one of the school's more popular cheerleaders and an esteemed member of Alex's posse, joined Connor in his attempt to humiliate the defenseless girl. "We know you can hear us. What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?" She went to take her seat and she snorted. "What a loser." All her friends giggled in agreement.

Just as Connor was about to take another jab, Alex stopped him. She couldn't sit back and watch anymore. Sure, Kara had gotten Jeremiah taken away. Sure, Kara had ruined her life, her family. Everything. But sitting back while Kara just took the abuse was making her feel sick. Something inside her stirred up and she pushed her boyfriend.

"Hey! Cut it out. Can't you see you're making her uncomfortable? She catches enough flack from the people at school, why don't you just leave her alone? What has she ever done to you, huh?" Connor brushed himself off, taken aback. Alex had always sat idly by when he would tease some of the underclassmen. He had never received any resistance when he would pick on the younger kids. "Yeah, Danvers? And what's it to you?"

He drew himself to his full height after recovering from being pushed back, which caused Alex to hesitate. All of their friends sat intently watching. She cleared her throat. "Just... shut up and watch the movie." As Alex moved to sit, Connor pulled her arm to prevent her. He started squeezing, maybe a little too tight.

"No, Alex. I want to know why you care so much. You've never stopped me before. So why now? Who is she?" His grip on her arm tightened exponentially, if that was even possible, and Alex's eyes started watering in pain. As soon as Alex had started arguing with Connor, Kara had turned around to watch how it would play out. And she was not pleased with what she saw.

She began calmly walking up to the large group of kids and stepped to the edge of their row, near where Connor was standing. She looked him straight in the eye and growled in a low tone. "Let her go."

Connor laughed in her face. "Yeah? And what are you going to do about it if I don't, huh?"

Kara's eyes lit up in rage as she advanced towards him. "I said. Let. Her. Go." All of the girls began moving out of her way, whispering about how much of a freak she was. But Kara didn't pay any attention to them. All she could think about, all she could look at, was Connor's iron grip on her sister's arm. And how it seemed Alex was in a lot of pain. Connor tried to taunt her by attempting to move across the row in the opposite direction, but all of his friends had moved out of the way so Kara had no problem keeping pace with him.

She caught up to him and grabbed his arm with an iron grip of her own. She looked straight at him, and demanded. "Last chance. Let go of her arm." He snickered and moved to push Alex, hoping it would get a rise out of Kara, and that's when the alien snapped. She tried to hold back her strength, but she still wanted to teach the older kid a lesson. She rammed into him shoulder first, and he went flying back a couple chairs, skidding to a stop on the ground. He released his grip on Alex as soon as Kara bowled into him, and all of the whispering from his friends immediately stopped upon seeing the strongest kid in school get knocked aside by the loser girl.

Alex looked at Connor with disdain for the first time in her life, and pointed to Kara. "You want to know who she is? Kara's my sister, asshole."

Disgust washed over Connor's face at the revelation, and all of their friends collectively gasped. Connor started standing up, and he gritted out. "If that _thing_ is your sister, and you choose to defend her? Then we're done. We're through." Before he could fully stand, Alex kicked him back to the ground. Hard.

"Fine." She took Kara by the arm and stormed out of the theater to the car.

Kara started to thank Alex from the back seat, but was immediately interrupted. "Kara..." Alex sighed in frustration. She knew how rumors worked in high school. Everyone would know about this by the next morning. Everyone would know she was related to Kara. And everyone would know that Connor had broken up with her.

"Kara, I don't want to hear it right now. Okay? I told you to stay away from the theater. I _knew_ nothing good would happen if you came. But you didn't listen. You never listen! And after that stunt you pulled? Hitting Connor? No one at school will even look at you. And for defending you, I just doomed myself to a fate worse than yours. You should have stayed away!" Alex had tears in her eyes as she drove them both back home.

Kara rode the rest of the way in silence, feeling horrible for the way the night had gone.

 _Present Time, Danvers Household_

Kara listened from the safety of her bedroom as her adopted sister and adopted mother got into it on the staircase.

"Mom, I'm so done with her ruining everything good in my life! I've just lost all of my friends, my boyfriend _very publicly_ broke up with me, and no one at school will even spare me a second glance. Everything I've worked for is tumbling down. And it's all her fault!"

Eliza tried to calm her daughter down, full well knowing that even without super hearing, Kara could hear the entire argument. "But you did the right thing, Alex. You stuck up for her, and you chose her over your friends. They were picking on her, and you stood up for her. That's exactly who I raised you to be. You chose her over your friends, and for that I am _sure_ she's grateful. I know _I_ am."

Alex huffed in anger. "I shouldn't have been forced to make that choice! Don't you understand? If she had never come to this stupid house in the first place, none of this would be happening. I even told her to stay away from the theater because I knew something like that would happen. She should have listened to me!" When she saw Eliza about to come to Kara's defense, she butted in again.

"And you seem to conveniently forget that she was the reason Jeremiah was taken. Your husband! My father! Jeremiah left to that damned organization to protect her, and he died on one of _their_ missions. You can't seriously tell me that his death isn't her fault. Our family is broken because of her! I wish she had never landed on Earth. If she had just stayed in that stupid Phantom Zone, Dad would still be here. He would be alive. I would have my boyfriend, I would have my friends, and I would be happy. Instead I've been left with a dead father, a sister I never wanted, and nobody at school to support me."

She pulled her arm free of Eliza's grip and stormed into her bedroom. Before she slammed her door, she looked Eliza right in the eye. "Stop kidding yourself, Mom. She ruined my life. She ruined _everything_. And you know it."

Kara heard the tail end of that argument and she did her best to hold back her tears, but to no avail. She looked down at the jacket in her hands. It was her favorite because it had been given to her by Alex. It was a particularly bad day and Alex lashed out at her. She had gotten the jacket for Kara because she felt bad.

It was a simple black jacket, because Alex wouldn't buy anything that wasn't black, but it had the symbol of the House of El in the front left corner. It was a bright red logo, and it reminded Kara of home. Of Kal-El. Once he became the great hero of Earth, stores started selling merchandise in his honor. Alex had picked one up for her, and even though it had been given to her to alleviate Alex's guilt and not as an actual gift, it still meant everything to Kara. Alex hadn't taken the time to get to know her or even ask for her size, so the jacket itself was humongous on Kara's small frame. But she didn't care.

So Kara threw the jacket around her, and she flew out the window, careful not to make too much noise. She felt that she didn't even deserve to be upset because everything Alex had said was true. She thought that maybe Alex would be better off without her, so she fulfilled Alex's last wish.

Kara left, and never came back. She knew nothing would bring back Jeremiah, or Alex's old life, but she had a sliver of hope that maybe her leaving would give Alex the happiness that she deserved.

Her heart had shattered when she heard how Alex felt about her, and that's when it dawned on Kara that she had completely and utterly ruined an innocent girl's perfect life. Her heart was broken beyond repair.

And Alex had been the one to break it.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you all so much for the super kind reviews! They really make everything worth it. Anyways, I'm sorry this update is so late. My update schedule will probably be all over the place until summer because I have huge exams I need to devote my time to, but I will update as soon as I get the chance.**

 **Hope you enjoy this chapter :)**

 _JustJustine014 - I'm glad you liked the chapter! I've been toying with the idea of a one-shot collection of young Danvers sisters stories where you guys all send in prompts, but I'm not sure if I'm going to go through with it. Let me know what you think? By the way, I've missed talking to you and reading your stories. Hope to see more of you :)_

Eliza had desperately wanted to talk to Kara after the staircase argument had unfolded, but to no avail. The alien had locked her bedroom door and Eliza couldn't hear anything coming from inside the room. She knew how Kara when these types of things happened. Kara would constantly blame herself, and she would close her walls. Eliza figured she would just stay cooped up in there the rest of the night, and resolved to talk to her foster daughter first thing in the morning.

After Alex heard her mom head to bed later that night, she lay awake in her own bed mulling over the events of the night. She knew she meant every word she said, and she knew she had every right to be angry, but she shouldn't have been so harsh and unforgiving. The guilt of what she'd said had been eating at her for the past five hours and her mind was whirling with chaotic and unorganized thoughts.

She kept replaying the argument over in her head, and it made her feel sick.

 _I wish she had never landed on Earth. If she had just stayed in that stupid Phantom Zone, Dad would still be here. He would be alive. I would have my boyfriend, I would have my friends, and I would be happy._

She did believe that Jeremiah's death was Kara's fault. Who else's could it be? But she should never have wished her adoptive sister back into the Phantom Zone. She knew what that place did to her. How it had scarred her. Alex knew it was a low blow at the time, but she said it to hurt Kara. She thought that by hurting Kara like Kara had hurt her, it would make her feel better.

It didn't.

Alex felt especially guilty now for bringing up the Phantom Zone because it was just about that time of the night for Kara to be having nightmares. At right around 2 am, every night without fail, Alex would hear screams and cries from the room across the hall. Eliza would never hear them because her room is on the opposite side of the house, but the elder sister heard them every single night. She refused to tell anyone, but sometimes if the nightmares were especially severe, Alex would crawl into Kara's bed and hold her.

It usually calmed her down quicker than usual, and no one would have to know. No one would have to know that maybe... just _maybe_... Alex did care for the little alien. She was always confused how she felt about Kara. Sometimes she just wanted to let Kara know that she didn't have to face the world alone. That Alex would be there for her if Kara needed. Other times, Alex felt like she'd be completely content if she never had to see the blonde ever again.

The minute Kara arrived on the Danvers' doorstep, Alex felt an immediate aversion to the girl. Not because she was an alien, not because she would have to be her sister. But because she knew that tiny, scared, and frail little girl would change everything.

And Alex was absolutely right.

But, not all the changes were bad. It was hard to admit it to herself, but Alex knew that all Kara ever wanted was a home. A place where she fit in.

A family.

And Kara was admittedly adorable, in her own space puppy kind of way. Alex had always been a resentful and spiteful sister who made Kara's life a hell on earth, but Kara never faltered. She showed up to every single soccer game, never missing one. Whenever Alex needed the doctor, or the hospital, Kara would be there too.

It's something that annoyed Alex. Kara's unwavering loyalty, that is. The girl never seemed to go away, no matter how hard Alex tried to make her. Kara would even show up to her science fairs. Every damned one. And who willingly shows up to those?

At some point, something changed. Alex hadn't recognized it. But some of her annoyance and a _lot_ of her hatred had faded. And it was replaced with this odd sensation that Alex had never experienced before. Maybe it was love... the kind of love only reserved for the little siblings of the world. Maybe it was just a little bit of loyalty to return, because the poor girl really had never done anything wrong. And Kara was _always_ there for her, whether Alex wanted her to be or not.

Or maybe... Maybe that odd feeling, that pit in her stomach she would get when Connor teased Kara... That anger she would feel when she saw Kara being bullied... Maybe that was some instinct stirring deep within her. A protectiveness waiting to be freed from the depths of Alex's subconscious. Alex had felt herself opening up to Kara, she had felt some kind of relationship building. Some of the hatred slowly melted away, and was replaced by that weird feeling in her stomach.

But then she heard about Jeremiah.

And all that progress, everything that had happened, completely changed. Alex retreated into her older self. She resented Kara, and she blamed her. Because she didn't know anything about this shady organization that got her father killed. She blamed Kara because there was no one else to blame. But still, Kara never complained. She would just sit there and take the abuse whenever Alex tried to pick a fight. She would let Alex blame her, because she knew Alex needed it. And in some ways, Kara felt the anger towards her was justified. So she never fought back.

But Alex did recognize that she had taken this particular argument way too far. There was a line that most people _knew_ not to cross, and Alex was so far over that line she was afraid she'd never be able to make it back. The light coming from her digital clock pulled her away from her thoughts, and she stared at it.

 _3:00 am. Great. I've been just lying here doing nothing for a good six hours._

She resolved to get some sleep. Maybe that would help clear her mind and she could find a way to face Kara tomorrow. She could find a way to apologize for dredging up those horrible memories of the Phantom Zone. For even _suggesting_ that Kara should have stayed there.

And she knew the following day at school would be the worst day of her life. She would have no friends to back her up, and her boyfriend would have everyone giving her dirty looks by sunrise the next day. She wouldn't even have Kara, because there's no way she could ask Kara to help her after what Alex had said. She knew that she had to at least get _some_ sleep if she was planning on surviving the next day.

Just as she was settled in and about to drift off, a disturbing thought crossed her mind. _It's 3:30 am, and I haven't heard a single noise. It's an hour and a half past the usual time, and she hasn't even whimpered once._ Since the night Kara had arrived, there had _always_ been an incident every night. Alex thought that maybe the lack of screams, whimpers, and cries were good. Maybe it was a sign that Kara was getting better.

But something told her she was far from the truth.

So she quietly slid out of her blankets and crept across the short hall to Kara's bedroom. She tried the handle, but it was locked.

 _Odd, she never keeps it locked._ Increasing panic and worry began to set in as Alex yanked on the handle with more force. It still didn't budge.

She called out quietly. "Kara? Kara, please. I know you're mad at me. I know you have every right to be. I know I can't take back what I said, but I'm sorry, okay? There's some truth to what I said, but I want to talk about it. Just please let me in."

Alex didn't even hear so much as a sniffle coming through the door and she started feeling bile rise up in her stomach.

This was not like Kara. She never kept her room door locked, at least not at night. That scared her too much. Being locked in a tight space in the pitch black. Reminded her too much of the Phantom Zone. Eliza had no reason to be suspicious because when she had last checked on Kara, it was still 9 at night. Kara wouldn't have gone to sleep at that time. But now, as Alex sat there by the door at 4 in the morning, a million thoughts raced through her mind, and not a single one was a happy or calming thought.

She started knocking on the door harder, not caring too much about the noise anymore. "Kara?! Please just say something. You don't even have to open or unlock the door, just let me know you're in there. Let me know you're okay. I know I said some inexcusable things, and I want to apologize. Please just make a sound. Let me know you're in there."

No response came.

Alex was bordering on hysterics as she unknowingly began harshly pounding the door. "Kara, I know you're not sleeping. If you were, I would have heard something at 2. Like I always do. Please, just give me a chance to explain myself." Alex full well knew it was a possibility that Kara was gone. Taken, even. But she refused to believe that, and just chalked up this behavior to Kara being angry with her.

The only thing that weakened that theory was that Kara was _never_ angry with her.

So Alex started screaming. Tears streamed down her eyes as genuine concern rooted its way into her stomach. She didn't know what she was saying, or if any of it even made any sense at all, but she just wanted Kara to come out. Or at least some kind of confirmation that Kara was still in the room.

Eliza stumbled out of the master bedroom groggily upon hearing Alex crying and screaming. When she saw her eldest daughter banging on Kara's door, she immediately knew something was wrong. Alex spotted her and began rambling, trying to explain herself.

"Mom, please. I was wrong and I feel so bad and I just want to talk to her but she didn't have her nightmare. She always has her nightmare. At 2. It happens every night. And I didn't hear anything, a scream, a cry. I didn't hear anything. And I'm scared that she's gone and not in there because she won't answer and she never ignores me and I'm scared that maybe she was taken and-"

At this point, Eliza's senses were on high alert. But even with that added boost, she didn't understand a single word her daughter had just said. "Alex, please calm down honey. Whatever has happened, we'll figure it out. Just start from the beginning, okay?"

Alex nodded as she sucked in gasping breaths to calm her crying. "She's been having nightmares every night since she's been living here. You and Dad never knew about them because she never told you, and I didn't want to tell you either. I was afraid that it would upset you guys, or that it would upset her. And I didn't want to make them worse. She always has them around 1:30-2:30 in the mornings. I get woken up by her cries and her screams every night. Sometimes, I go into her room to check on her and make sure she's okay."

Eliza wanted to ask more about that, but decided now was not exactly the time. She nodded for Alex to continue. "I was up tonight thinking about what I said, and I was right, Mom. A lot of what I said held truth. But I was also very _very_ wrong. And I started to feel guilty about everything. I spent the whole night thinking about how I was going to apologize and approach Kara at the breakfast table, but I looked over and realized it was 3 am. And then I also realized that throughout the whole night Kara hadn't made a noise.

So I came out to check on her to make sure everything was okay. But when I got here, the door was locked. And you know how Kara never locks her door at night. She's too scared of what could happen. So I thought maybe she was actually having a good sleep for the first time since she arrived. But I didn't want to take the chance so I tried talking to her from out here to let her know that I was here. Her super hearing should have woken her up, but she's not answering. I've been trying everything, but she won't come out. And I think maybe... maybe that's because she was never in there in the first place."

Realization dawned on Eliza as the last sentence sunk in. She quickly rushed downstairs to Jeremiah's former study and dug through all the drawers to find the master key set. They vowed never to use it when the girls locked the doors because they didn't want to violate their privacy. But somehow, Eliza got the feeling that this wasn't simply a matter of privacy.

She found it and sprinted back up the stairs to her worried daughter, scrambling to find the key to Kara's room. She jammed it into the lock and thrust Kara's door open with all the strength of her pent-up anxiety. Her stomach immediately fell as she saw the bed was empty. Alex ran in after her and experienced the same overwhelming wave of emotions as her mother.

Upon seeing Kara's curtains blowing, she noticed that the bedroom window was wide open.

Alex approached and found two slips of paper neatly placed on the floor. One addressed to her and one addressed to Eliza.

And Alex knew that handwriting. Knew it from the countless times she would be forced to help the alien girl with her English homework. Knew it from the countless times that Kara would try to teach Kryptonese to her adoptive family.

And this time it was Alex's heart that broke upon realizing those notes were written by Kara. Because Kara hadn't been taken.

No... It was far worse.

Kara had been pushed to leave for good, and it was all Alex's fault.

 **A/N: I did not intend for the chapter to be this long, but once I got going I couldn't find a good place to stop. Just to reiterate, this will be a very short story, probably around four more chapters unless inspiration strikes and I want to write more. There will be a ten year time jump between now and next chapter. The rest of the updates will probably not be of this length, but that may be subject to change.**

 **Anyways, Alex finally realized that maybe Kara meant more to her than she was willing to let on, willing to let herself believe. But now that she has realized how wrong she was, it will plague her to know that she won't be able to tell Kara that she loves her. Too little, too late. She learned the hard way that you never really know what you have until it is taken away from you.**

 **Hope you all enjoyed :)**


	3. Chapter 3

_JC - Thank you so much, your words mean the world! I am doing a 10 year time jump here in this chapter and mentioned previously before, but there will be plenty of flashbacks to Alex in school. We'll still be seeing a lot of Kara too :)_

 **A/N: For the sake of this story, we're going to pretend that Alex was never recruited to the DEO. I kind of liked exploring what would have happened to her if she never had Kara anchoring her to the DEO. Thought maybe I'd delve into the surgeon route, and throw me back to some Lexie Grey feels :)**

Alex heaved a sigh as she stuffed her scrubs into her locker. It had been a long day of surgeries and she was less than eager to return home. Today marked a decade.

A decade since anyone had seen Kara.

Her plans for the night consisted of making a beeline straight for the local bar and drowning her miseries until she passed out in a bar stool. Throughout the years, Alex had plenty of time to reflect on her actions and how she had driven Kara away. Not one day passed where she didn't feel a pang of guilt pass through her for what she had said and done to push her little sister away.

She found herself missing the company she used to resent. Alex had something so special in Kara. Someone who supported her at every turn, someone who was there for every science fair. But, Kara was gone when Alex graduated high school. She wasn't there to cheer when Alex got accepted to the Harvard Med program. She certainly was not there to hug Alex after she passed her boards or graduated medical school, or even became a surgeon.

Alex's mind raced with thoughts of Kara and how much she missed her. She finally found her jet black sports car in the hospital parking lot and flopped into the driver's seat. She felt a hard wave of emotions slam into her and leaned her head against the steering wheel to ward off the stress-induced dizziness. Alex rubbed her eyes slowly and tried to calm down.

 _Just gotta make it to the bar. I'll be feeling_ much _better when I make it to the bar._

She reached into her pocket to make sure the note was there. The note her little sister had left behind before she ran away for good.

The older Danvers gave herself one day a year where she could just completely break down and drink and grieve over her lost sister. It just so happened that today was that day. Every year when this date rolled around, she would take an earlier shift and bring Kara's note to work. Then, she'd go to the bar and read it, starting a long drinking session to take away the pain.

It was like clockwork.

She slowly started her car and began the seemingly everlasting drive to the pub. Alex thought that in some ways, what had happened was far worse than death. It was her fault that Kara felt the need to run away and never come back. It was her fault that her mother lost a daughter. And it was her fault that for all anyone knew, Kara could be hurt or even taken, and no one would even know. She was left to constantly wonder where her sister was, what she was doing, or even worse, what her life _could_ have been if Alex had just kept her mouth closed that one night.

The barrage of memories attacked her painstakingly one by one. All the times she saw Kara smile. Every time Kara would sit alone at lunch because Alex was too popular to risk associating with her. Every time Kara gasped in glee when she tried Earth food items for the first time. All the times Kara would get bullied and Alex would just watch because she was too embarrassed to intervene.

All the times she would scream at Kara for getting Jeremiah killed.

All the memories, the good and the bad, plagued her thoughts as she pulled up to the parking lot and stopped the car. As she slowly trudged in through the entrance, her hand wandered to the note burning a hole in her pocket. She grabbed her usual seat at the bar.

A black young bartender came up to her and smiled sympathetically. "That time of the year again?"

Alex just nodded somberly. The nice lady had never known what got Alex this drunk every year, but she _did_ know that every year for the past seven years on January 22, Alex would come into this bar and have an absolute meltdown. It almost amazed the bartender how much she could drink. In all her years in the profession (and that was _a lot_ of years), she had never seen anyone drink more in a single sitting than Alex did on these nights. "I'll just start you off with your usual. Let me know if I can do anything else for you, okay?"

Alex smiled, but it never quite reached her eyes. "Thanks, M'gann."

The aforementioned bartender set off to go make Alex's drink while Alex pulled out the note and traced her fingers along the writing on the front. M'gann came back swiftly and set the drink down gently in front of her, careful not to startle Alex who seemed to be lost in her own world. As she was about to back away, she smiled sadly at the tired surgeon and spoke softly.

"Try to take it easy today, okay? Please let me know if you need anything." Alex laughed humorlessly. "Probably won't be taking it easy, but thanks anyways. I may not always act like it, but I am grateful for what you do for me."

M'gann gave a small smile and walked off to tend to other customers for the night. Alex slowly unfolded the note and stared intently at the first four words before she read the rest slowly.

 _Alex, I love you._

 _Just wanted you to no that. I just want to apologize for everything I have done and for all of the pain I have caused you and your family before it is too late. I realize that none of you ever asked for an alien to crash land into your life, and I am so sorry for what that did to your family. You really do mean everything to me, and I tried so hard to make you my sister, but I never realized how hard it would be for you to feel the same. It was completely unfair of me to expect you to just be ok with this... with me... I was overbearing, overemotional, and way too attached. I made it hard for you to live a normal life at school with your friends. I am the reason you no longer have a Dad, and I hate myself even more for that because I no exactly how it feels._

 _I no how it feels to lose your parents. I made you lose your friends, your boyfriend, and worst of all, your life. I ruined everything. I no the pain of losing everything and everyone you love in the blink of an eye. And I can't believe I was the reason that you had to suffer like that. I never quite understood why you resented me when I first came, but I get it now. What I did was unacceptable. I know how important your school life is to you, and I completely messed it up. Everything you've worked hard to achieve, all the friends you've had for years. I screwed it all up. If I had just listened to you and stayed away from the theater, none of this would have happened._

 _But, I no the error of my ways now. And I see just how horrible my coming was for you and Eliza. I'm just really sorry. You should know that everything you said on the stairs was true. Everything is my fault. If I had never shown up, your life would be everything you ever wanted. And I want you to no that if I could go back... If I was ever given the choice, I would keep myself in the Phantom Zone so I never have the opportunity to ruin everything for you. You never did anything wrong, and it was unfair that all of my baggage affected you and Eliza._

 _Unfortunately, I don't have that choice so I can't go back. But I_ can _leave. It won't be as effective, and it won't erase everything that has happened, but it's the best I could think of. I realize that every time I'm around, something in your life goes horribly wrong. Maybe if I go, your luck will turn around. Maybe you'll be happy. And maybe you can get your friends back. I don't know what'll happen, but I_ do _know that anything would be better than having me stuck in your life to ruin everything. I hope you live a wonderful and happy and full life, and I hope that most of all, you allow yourself to love. Let someone in. You've always been so guarded, and you deserve to find the happiness that my being here denied you._

 _Just remember that I love you and I always will. I'm sorry for everything._

 _Kara_

 _P.S. Eliza got her own note, but just remind her that I'll never forget her and all that she has done for me._

 _P.P.S. Sorry for the grammar mistakes. I haven't quite gotten the written part of english down yet._

 _P.P.P.S_ _I hope you become the world's best surgeon ever! And no that Ill always be looking out for you. :)_

Alex's eyes wandered to the bottom right corner of the page where there was a small smiley face, and she folded the paper up. She couldn't look at it anymore. It reminded her of everything she had lost. Alex didn't quite realize it, but tears had began streaming down her face. She reached for the glass that M'gann had left and downed the entire drink in one long swig.

She proceeded to tuck Kara's note back into her pocket, then got lost in her thoughts. She stared off into space, memories flashing before her eyes, for what felt like years. When she came back to the real world, her drink was refilled and waiting for her. She immediately grasped the glass and flung the contents down her throat.

The burn seared her throat, but at least it distracted her from the pain in her heart. The rest of the night was a story of rinse and repeat. She'd take a drink, then get so lost in thought that she'd completely zone out. During that time, M'gann would refill her glass to make sure she had something in there, but would stay vigilant to not let Alex get _too_ drunk.

Alex stayed from the end of her work shift all the way up until 2 in the morning. All the other customers were long gone by that time, and so were the employees. When the manager protested about Alex staying so late and threatened to kick her out, M'gann managed to convince him to let her lock up once Alex was finished - whenever that would be. In all the years of this annual tradition, Alex had never stayed so late or drank so much. It worried M'gann, and she knew it was especially bad today.

At long last, M'gann called it a night. Alex had _way_ too much to drink and she'd be damned if anything happened to Alex while she was like this. She swiftly cut her off, and got the tab, while she told Alex that it was time to go. The very drunk woman got up from her seat and shakily walked in the direction of her car. M'gann returned quickly and took the keys from her hand.

There was no way she'd allow Alex to drive in a state like this, even though the streets were completely empty. Just because there was no danger of crashing into others, doesn't mean there was no danger of a crash in general. Alex could black out at the wheel and end up in a ditch for all M'gann knew. The deft bartender wished she knew what had happened to Alex to make her like this. She knew it had to be traumatizing and extremely difficult judging by the way Alex acted, and that made her too afraid to ask.

So instead, she snatched the keys out of Alex's hands, and decided this would be a mystery better solved on a later date. Alex began to protest, and M'gann cut her off.

"If you think I'm letting you drive like this, you're _really_ delusional, or just crazy." Alex pouted and slurred. "But no cab will come pick me up this late."

M'gann just grabbed Alex by the arm and carefully guided her towards the back exit leading to the staff parking lot. "Don't worry about that. I'm going to drive you. You can come back for your car tomorrow, when you're... oh, I don't know... actually able to walk."

Alex succumbed and leaned her weight on M'gann, who, much to Alex's surprise, experienced no difficulty holding the heavier girl up. Alex had no time to register what that meant, because as soon as they left the safety of the indoors and locked up shop, they were confronted by a group of armed men.

The ring leader of the group walked up to the pair slowly. "Well, well, well... What would a pair of beautiful young women like you two be doing out here all alone? At this hour?" The others slowly advanced behind them. The leader continued talking while the other men slowly raised their guns.

"Looks like your friend here has had a rough night. You're so kind for taking her home. How about you pretty ladies both cough up your wallets and whatever valuables you got, and then we'll just be on our way? I suggest you oblige. You wouldn't want to know what happens to people when they refuse me." He cocked his gun for emphasis, to make sure the M'gann _did_ in fact, know what he did to people who refused his oh-so-generous offer.

M'gann didn't want to resort to violence but saw no other option. She tried to issue a warning. "I would put those guns down. Sorry, but it'll be a cold day in hell when I let you take advantage of someone who is completely drunk. Go mug someone else and back the hell off."

That seemed to thoroughly piss off the men, and too slowly, M'gann realized that while they were talking, two had snuck behind them and surrounded them completely. She tried to dive in front of Alex, knowing that it wouldn't be nearly as bad if she was shot. But she knew they were exposed from the back.

Alex was in trouble and M'gann was too slow to stop the whole group. After she absorbed the bullets from the first three shots, she expected to hear some kind of noise come from Alex, indicating the inevitable.

Indicating that she had been shot.

But none came.

M'gann whirled around in confusion, just in time to see a blurry dark figure slam into the ground right in front of Alex. The force knocked Alex back a couple feet, and the bullets bounced right off the figure. She watched half in shock and half in fear as the figure in a black jacket made quick work of the group that had been threatening them just moments before.

Moving like a blurry shadow, the figure did not hold back as it slammed the men straight into walls, and whirled them into the dumpsters of the bar's back alley. M'gann couldn't catch the face of the figure, but a singular blonde lock hung out of the hood as the figure took care of the last group member. Before she could see anything else, the men were tied up right in front of her eyes and a note was on top of a barely conscious (and extremely confused) Alex.

M'gann stooped down to check on Alex. When satisfied that she was just dazed but uninjured, she looked down to the note and read it, hoping to find out more from their unnamed and unidentifiable hero.

No such luck.

Instead, she found three short and abrupt sentences.

 _Get Alex home safe. Then call 911, and have these scumbags arrested._

 _Her address is on the back._

M'gann turned the card over and sure enough, there was an exact address, apartment number and everything, on the back of the card. She stared off into the expanse of the alley, unsure of what to think. She loaded a passed out Alex into the passenger seat of the car, wondering what just happened.

Thoughts raced in her mind throughout the entire drive.

 _Who the hell is Alex Danvers? And why does this bulletproof stranger with super speed and strength know her home address?_

 **A/N: So sorry for this super late update. It was an extremely difficult week for my family and me. We had to put our puppy down and it hasn't been easy on any of us. Anyways, hope you all liked M'gann. You won't be seeing her again in the story, but I thought it'd be fun to add her in. I liked having that connection between the Alex we know and love, and this new Alex. This update turned out way longer than I wanted, but that appears to be the going theme of this story anyways haha.**

 **M'gann was a convenient and easy character for me to add in, plus everything just fit right into place with the bartender character I wanted in this scene. She'll probably be mentioned here and there from Alex flashing back to this moment, but other than that, there will be no more of her character. This is primarily Danvers Sisters. See you guys soon, hopefully. Not sure when I'll update next but the story is almost finished anyways, so hopefully it doesn't take too long to cap this off.**

 **Hope you enjoyed :)**


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